There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
