did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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