the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize