You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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