glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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