she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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