We're facebook friends in real life
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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