My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
