Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
