i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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