apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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