He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
