Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Of course I have a pirate flag
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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