Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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