I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
