True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
