You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
