I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
