escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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