Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
