so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize