Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
