We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
