Soap is not a condiment
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
