holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
