the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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