you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Girls should come with a carfax report
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
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