I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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