I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
