Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
