Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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