dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
