Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
