I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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