My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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