i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
