Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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