i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
