i permit you to call me
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize