I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
