Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
