he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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