walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
