Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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