Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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