i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
