i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
