this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
