this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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