She just used a chaser for red wine.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
