if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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