I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
