office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
