Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
