Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think a kid would responsible me up
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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