Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
