I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
