I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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