Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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