Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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