ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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