Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
