It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
