is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
