I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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