one two three fourrrrnication!
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i came on her dog
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
